You are, most likely, enacting a very different ritual of marriage than your ancestors did. In the not too distant past, a wedding was a ritual that joined two tribes together; created peace, sealed a business deal or enlarged a kingdom. The bride was usually part of bargain or deal. We live in an incredible time of empowerment and personal freedom; we marry for love and we have complete control over the sacred act of joining with another in the bond of matrimony; leaving you all wide open to unlimited possibilities! That is something to celebrate right there!
But having full control over ritual can be more than a little daunting when you come to create this, probably the only ritual you will have a part in, in your life; your wedding. But where do you start? We are here to offer you the ideas and inspiration you need to create a ritual that is your own. A wedding ritual that looks, sounds and feels like you.
WHAT IS RITUAL? Let’s take a look at what makes a ritual. Now we traditionally have not examined ritual too closely, ritual was something that was done to us or for us by an authority figure chosen by our family or tribe, we didn’t have to “go there.” You wanted to get married? Here is your wedding ritual.
And if you are a member of an organized faith system, then you are already equipped with a ritual expert; your rabbi, your priest or your minister, who is a phenomenal resource for these rituals; why they happen, what they mean, how they are supposed to feel. But for those who do not have a religious based faith system and cannot find “rituals, expert” in the yellow pages, here is some guidance for you. Ritual is so simple and yet so complex that the more you examine it the more profound it becomes. Ritual is the physicalization of what you believe and feel. Potentially, everything you do is ritual. When you wake up, break your fast, feed the dog, take a walk, watch a sunset, hold hands with your mate; that is the basic ritual of everyday life.
A wedding is a “high ritual” One day set aside, different than the others, where everything is made as special as it can be. You put on special clothes, you say very special words, you dine on special foods, you dance, laugh, you live more fully in the moment on that day than you do on the other days in your life. The physical aspects that you gather; your dress, your banquet feast, your flowers and invitations are symbols of things invisible; they are symbols of your feelings, your style, the way you live, they are symbolic of your beliefs, your hopes your dreams; your love. Your wedding must spring from your way, to have power.
If your wedding does not represent what you believe and feel then you are missing out something really powerful. The power of ritual is that it has the potential to changes everything. It may be invisible, but it packs a lot of punch.
HOW DOES IT WORK? The truths that make up any ritual; whether it is lighting a candle, saying a prayer, blessing a newborn, or stepping into marriage in a wedding ceremony, are these; is that it must Honor, Reflect, Inspire and Transform. HONOR If you are like many other couples, you are looking to create a wedding ritual that honors some tradition; family tradition, cultural or religious tradition. A wedding must have the familiar; the tribal way. REFLECT You wish to reflect yourselves and your style INSPIRE You want to inspire your guests, light that fire in them, keep them focused TRANSFORM And what happens when all these things are dialed in, is that you, your family and everyone there is transformed into something more than what you were when you arrived. That is the power of ritual. It changes everything. You arrive at your wedding a single person, you leave as half of a partnership.
So remember to keep something familiar in your wedding to Honor the way of your people, look through our section on wedding traditions and cultural rituals; Reflect your own unique and personal style and beliefs, try creating a new tradition of your own; Inspire your guests with surprises and creativity and, most importantly, to allow your self and your mate to Transform, like beautiful and perfect butterflies, into your new and more powerful way of living together in love. Congratulations!
